History is shaped by our hands.

Lets go over it, shall we?
Morning started off great. I got a ticket to the Barenaked Ladies show in Madison. Its going to be awesome. And its a great seat, too. Section 1 about 15 or so rows from the stage. And I'm going with my best friend and his wife... and two other friends that will be sitting int the same section but a couple rows away. The 5 of us went to see the BNL a few months ago when they were in Milwaukee. This is my BNL crew.
And then work was a pretty good. Lots of coding and programming and very little corporate B.S. to worry about. That's a good day in my book.
Then I get home and the assessor comes to look at my basement remodeling project. When I set up the appointment, I told his secretary that it wasn't done yet so I wasn't sure what he'd be able to assess. She said he had to assess it anyway. Well, he shows up, looks at the basement, and says, "Its not done. There's nothing I can do here." Duh. He's not thrilled with his secretary right now... but at least my property taxes shouldn't jump too much this year.
And then I spent the evening with my gf. That was all right. We were both really tired, so it was a pretty bland boring night of us sitting next to each other on the couch, trying to trick our brains into making conversation. But that was after we had a disagreement about Sunday, February 1st. That's the day she has to go back to school and our relationship becomes a long-distance relationship. We are all set to handle the long-distance part, but that Sunday when she moves is turning out to be an issue.
Wanna hear about it? No? Too bad. Its my blog. I write what I want. You don't have to read it.
Wednesday night we were talking about that weekend, and she said we should plan to do something on Saturday because we wouldn't be seeing each other on Sunday, what with the move and all. Well, I offered that I could help her with the move. I could ride up to the school with her and her parents, help her move back in, say a goodbye, and then ride back with her parents. She said adamantly said, "No". She doesn't like going back to school, especially after a long break. She misses her family, doesn't want to be at school, and turns into a major bitch (her words, not mine). She then went on to say that it will be even worse this time because she's not just leaving her family behind, she's leaving me behind, too. Seeing me that day will just make it worse.
I told her that if we are going to be together for a long time, we are going to see each other at some of our worst moments. I'd like to spend that last day with her and I understand that she will be edgy. Again she said it would just be best for me to not be there.
I eventually gave in and said I understand. If that's what she really wants, I'll respect that decision and we'll just do something on Saturday.
Then she thought about it and said that maybe I could come over for brunch and then see her off. I wouldn't actually help her move back in, but we could still spend some time together in the morning. That was fine with me. I got to see her before she left, which is what I wanted, and I wouldn't see her going all crazy during the move, which is what she wanted. A successful compromise had been reached.
This is all still on Wednesday... and this entry is entitled 'Thursday'... so on to Thursday.
We get together on Thursday night and she is kind of awkwardly trying to start a conversation. I can tell she has something to say. She starts out with, "About next Sunday..." I think, uh oh, now that she's had time to think, she wants to go back to not seeing each other that day. Nope, completely wrong. She said that if I want to spend the whole day with her and help her move, I should. It was sweet of me to offer and it was wrong of her to prevent it. She apologized for being so controlling. All the while, she was really sheepish and quiet as she explained this all to me.
Now I'm really confused. Its not like she's being controlling. She has legitimate reasons for me not being there for the move. She explained them, we reached a compromise, and all was well. If I had wanted to play a video game some night when she wasn't around and she told me not to, that would be controlling.
Well, I never gave her an answer. I told her we still have time to think this all out. I'm not sure she wants me to be there. I asked her if she really wanted me there, and she shrugged her shoulders and said, "Sure... I guess." That's not like her. Her usual response to something like that is, "Of course... I asked you, so I would like you to." To me it seems like she doesn't want me there, but she doesn't want to be controlling. So, she's going to suck it up for a day and give in to me. I don't want that. I want her to want me to be there... not just give in and let me come along because she's worried about how controlling she is.
And then we sat on the couch next to each other, all tired and awkward and a little uncomfortable. Yeah, it got better as the night went on, but we still have this issue out there. Sometime this weekend we are going to do something together. Maybe this issue will come up again. Maybe it will be easier to talk about it when the two of us aren't so freaking tired. Who knows?