History is shaped by our hands.

Its 1 in the morning and I should be asleep, but I wanted to blog. The only problem is that I wasn't sure what to blog about. I went out tonight with a friend from Pennsylvania. So many things happened tonight that were blog-worthy.

I could blog about the hottest woman in Milwaukee that just happened to be at the restaurant we were at... and how I couldn't ever even talk to her, let alone date her.

I could blog about the cock-sucking asshole that hooked up with our group and made it his personal mission to get me to drink AFTER he learned that I don't drink. Stupid fuck-tard. Yes, harsh words, but he earned them.

I could blog about how I thought I was going to die in the car on the way home because I forgot to pee after dropping my friend off at his hotel. Damn, did that hurt.

But I have chosen to blog about the bar scene.
After dinner we decided to go to a popular club in Milwaukee, Club Paragon. We walked in and it was pretty cool. Dart boards and pool tables were all over the place. And the bar was one of the longest that I've seen. We were having a good time just haning out and talking. Of course, being human, I was looking around and noticing all the beautiful people there. And how with the exception of our table, every single one of them was trying to hook up. I was smack-dab in the middle of one of the more popular night-time meat markets in Milwaukee.

It was fine, though. It was interesting to watch the drunk people hang all over each other and grind with one another when one of their favorite songs came on. But then my feelings changed. At this point, 2 of the other single people in our group decided it was time play along. Off to the meat market they went.

My friend from Pennsylvania is not single and I'm not into this scene, so we just stayed at the table and watched. Our friends would walk up to a girl, chat her up, buy her a drink, put a hand on her back or butt, get shot down, then reload and try again. I know many of you out there are thinking, "Hell yeah! That's how I roll!" Well, I don't roll that way. I don't really even understand rolling that way.

It was at this point that my PA friend looks over at me and says, "Thank god I have a girlfriend. Watching this mess just reminds me of how much I love her." He then went outside with his cell phone and gave her a call.

Lets say one of these hook-ups lasts longer than a one-night stand. What if it goes to a serious relationship and a child comes out of the union. What do you tell your child when your sweet little angel asks, "Daddy? How did you meet Mommy?"

"Well, I was drunk. I saw your mom from across the room and damn, did she have a heck of a rack on her, so I decided I'd try my luck. I had already been shot down by the chick with the amazing ass, so it was time for something a bit different. I walked up to her and she was hammered as well. So I busted out my lines and low and behold, they were some of the better ones she had heard that night. Either that, or she was tired of being picky and just wanted some action. We screwed until we passed out and then lived happily ever after."

Unreal. There are so many other stories I'd rather tell my child someday about how I met Mommy.

* Your mother worked in payroll and I was having trouble with my auto-deposit pay-check. We started talking and...

* We both reached for the last Metric CD at the same time, shared a laugh and...

* A mutual friend hooked us up because she thought we'd be perfect for each other. We all met for dinner one night and...

* I was reading your mother's blog for a while and then we started swapping e-mails back and forth. Then one day she sent me a picture and she had the most beautiful and intensely seductive eyes that I had ever seen. We had some difficulty meeting, but one night I was in a meat market club and she was at a Brewer game when I realized we had to meet. We finally did and...

Or I could just tell our child the truth; that I ordered Mommy from Russia.